a Blessing, at first in Disguise..

bribabe32 @ 2006-05-14T14:00:00

2006-05-14T18:05:31Z

Havent written in here forever, dont care if noone reads it. just needed something to vent..

everything is going good, but i cant fight the ghosts of you, you ruined my trust forever, its so hard to trust now, i get sick to my stomach, i know he wont do anything and he loves me, but you.. you made me second guess, even when there is no need. I feel threatend still by all the smallest things, you brought my insecurities out and left them in the open, while i am trying to get rid of them , its still so hard to leave them behind. One day I will be stronger and back to who i once was, but for now my tummy hurts.. I dont want to ever hurt like I did. I want to change and trust and not have the worry that something is going on when its not.. I want to be carefree.

I want to trust someone who totally deserves it!!

Why? Ill never get it

2006-01-25T23:01:16Z

I feel sick.

why did she have to die.

Why God?

.... WHY!!!!!!!

bribabe32 @ 2005-12-23T16:07:00

2005-12-23T21:08:15Z

still no computer.. i will update soon i miss you all love you and merry christmas!

bribabe32 @ 2005-12-04T17:07:00

2005-12-04T22:08:42Z

im having withdrawls from computer..

my life has been nutts ill update as soon as i have a computer that works.

lots to tell.

xoxo

bribabe32 @ 2005-11-24T21:12:00

2005-11-25T02:13:59Z

holidays arent what they are made out to be..

I miss you Jenny..

I wish i could stop the pain from everyone.. this is just too sad and sucky and i dunno what to say without talking for an hour..

Please God let jenny be safe and happy.. and always stay with us. I love you jenny.. we all do.

bribabe32 @ 2005-11-20T14:39:00

2005-11-20T19:41:55Z

Tried to sleep, but i got 19754285 calls

and then .. adam (repo man) was just here ..

Adam keeps coming slowly, and taking his stuff.. our stuff.. this is hard..
and everytime something leaves, my heartbreaks.

Just so hard..

He took our bedroom tv, and his games n stuff.. n his socks.. i dont have any of my own socks i always wear his..

...now my feet will be cold and thats not the only thing:-/

bribabe32 @ 2005-11-20T13:35:00

2005-11-20T18:45:09Z

When it Rains it Pours

My life is completely crazy.
I dont know anything anymore.
I have to say that the past
2 months have been hell.
But it's getting easier
as the days go by.

Life as I knew it changed
I changed,
you changed.
My thoughts and dreams changed.
How come?

I just don't know anymore, I just can't feel because im so numb. I don't understand life. I want to be happy, I do. I just don't know anymore i guess what happy is.

Its kinda sucky everything.. I guess im just depressed.
Im starting to realize alot of things though,

I've realized that I have awesum friends, and i don't think i can go a day without seeing them! .. well atleast talking to them.

Life is crazy.. and so am I .. maybe thats why we're bumping heads right now. I know things are gettnig better.. but just like everything else, they have to get worse before they can get better.

And Jenny.. I love you, I cant go a day without thinking about you .. and missing you. I wish you were coming tonight, i want to make diaherrea cookies again for you. I love you lots. And miss you like crazy.

I need a nap.. **someone has kept me up late a lotta nites in a row.. and i have huge bags under my eyes! **

I have a lotta stuff to write about, alot has happened. Maybe ill right later.

Love you all

xoxo

bribabe32 @ 2005-11-18T23:25:00

2005-11-19T04:25:23Z

wharrrtever

bribabe32 @ 2005-11-17T20:06:00

2005-11-18T01:07:22Z

i cant breathe and i hate this.. and more than that i hate

nevermind

i just need to sceram yet noones here to listen. Except you.. but i realize that you dont listen..

i hate myself and i feel sick and wish . ugh i dunno

im going to puke

bribabe32 @ 2005-11-15T21:25:00

2005-11-16T02:25:41Z

Thank you Mike for showin me this..

its so me now..:-/

"Something More"

Monday, hard to wake up
Fill my coffee cup, I'm out the door
Yeah, the freeway's standing still today
It's gonna make me late, and thats for sure
I'm running out of gas and out of time
Never gonna make it there by nine

[Chorus:]
There's gotta be something more
Gotta be more than this
I need a little less hard time
I need a little more bliss
I'm gonna take my chances
Taking a chance I might
Find what I'm looking for
There's gotta be something more

Five years and there's no doubt
That I'm burnt out, I've had enough
So now boss man, here's my two weeks
I'll make it short and sweet, so listen up
I could work my life away, but why?
I got things to do before die

[Repeat Chorus]

Some believe in destiny, and some believe in fate
I believe that happiness is something we create
You best believe that I'm not gonna wait
'Cause there's gotta be something more

I get home 7:30 the house is dirty, but it can wait
Yeah, 'cause right now I need some downtime
To drink some red wine and celebrate
Armageddon could be knocking at my door
But I ain't gonna answer that's for sure.
There's gotta be something!

Kelly Clarkson Because Of You

2005-11-15T02:01:29Z

I will not make the same mistakes that you did
I will not let myself
Cause my heart so much misery
I will not break the way you did,
You fell so hard
I've learned the hard way
To never let it get that far

Because of you
I never stray too far from the sidewalk
Because of you
I learned to play on the safe side so I don't get hurt
Because of you
I find it hard to trust not only me, but everyone around me
Because of you
I am afraid

I lose my way
And it's not too long before you point it out
I cannot cry
Because you know that's weakness in your eyes
I'm forced to fake
A smile, a laugh everyday of my life
My heart can't possibly break
When it wasn't even whole to start with

Because of you
I never stray too far from the sidewalk
Because of you
I learned to play on the safe side so I don't get hurt
Because of you
I find it hard to trust not only me, but everyone around me
Because of you
I am afraid

I watched you die
I heard you cry every night in your sleep
I was so young
You should have known better than to lean on me
You never thought of anyone else
You just saw your pain
And now I cry in the middle of the night
For the same damn thing

Because of you
I never stray too far from the sidewalk
Because of you
I learned to play on the safe side so I don't get hurt
Because of you
I try my hardest just to forget everything
Because of you
I don't know how to let anyone else in
Because of you
I'm ashamed of my life because it's empty
Because of you
I am afraid

Because of you
Because of you

.. its because of you

bribabe32 @ 2005-11-12T10:35:00

2005-11-12T15:36:42Z

Happy 21st Dani!!!! We heart you!

i love you mackie!

2005-11-11T19:48:32Z

Happy 2nd Birthday my lil baby girlie!

i <3 u lots baby!

LiF*e

2005-11-10T04:05:36Z

life

aldina is right, i member worrying more about what i was going to wear to school then what is going on in the world..

i cant believe what i have been thru in the past 5 years.. i was 16...

16-21 and ive had hella expiriences.. and i would only change one.. and thats Jenny leaving us ... everything else made me stronger (*Jenny made me way stronger and helped me see, but i wish she was here still *) .. and now will make me happier.

I dont know where i would start.. but i know ive learned from these 5 years and im a better person

I will not fail.. its just not what i do.(except that stupid life insurance exam.. 3 times.. gosh!)

and this is the hardest thing ive done in my whole life .. but damn, im me.. and i can do whatever i put my mind to.. and noone is going to stop me from suceeding.

I have to say i lost a boyfriend, but kept a friendship. We arent meant to be together, but we;ll always be family, and he'll always hold a place in my heart.. but for now.. friends.. one of my best.. just like before..

So yes, life throws sum curve balls, and im not looking to just bunt, i want to hit it over the fence, outta the park and into the stars.... bc i have the best family and friends around ....my support

and honestly.. what they say what doesnt kill me makes me stronger.. is so true.

i just wish that it was easier.. but if it was, what would that make me?
Atleast I have feelings and emotions and atleast i Love.

watch out, 2006 is a new Bri.. fresh start and im gunna grab it n run with it!

enuff babling n all this gay talk..

basically i love yous and thank you for helping me in this shitty time..

I'm Beautifully Broken ♥

I love yous
xoxo
*B*

bribabe32 @ 2005-11-06T21:48:00

2005-11-07T02:50:14Z

Mackies party turned out awesum, she got so much cool stuff..

I love her so much!

.. i can't stop smiling ..

.............. and i love seeing brooke smile again .......

xoxo

bribabe32 @ 2005-11-06T00:09:00

2005-11-06T05:11:25Z

♥ You m@ke mE SmiLe ♥

... and so do my new undies from VS... hehe

♥xoxo♥

bribabe32 @ 2005-11-05T02:09:00

2005-11-05T07:10:04Z

good nite, good conversations... felt good.

bribabe32 @ 2005-11-03T21:00:00

2005-11-04T02:00:30Z

I love you Jenny forever..
I miss you so Much!

bribabe32 @ 2005-11-02T22:30:00

2005-11-03T03:30:50Z

i really think jenny is bringing friends closer..
thank you jenny i love you and misses you!

are you f'n kidding me

2005-11-02T03:37:51Z

BabyDina12: oh here is your horoscope
BabyDina12:
Quickie:
It's OK to be wishy-washy sometimes -- don't feel pressured to rush your decision.

bribabe32 @ 2005-10-31T20:30:00

2005-11-01T01:37:08Z

im so lost and alone, and i dont know if i am doing the right thing..

what if i am wrong and making a big mistake my stomach is in my throat, but how else am i supposed to find out who i am, or if this is right.. i want to know that im making the right descision.. and not being here bc thats all i know or am used to..

i just want to be happy.. and being happy may take a while of being hurt, or sad

i love him with my whole heart , i do, but we dont make eachother happy anymore.. its routine, and im stressed and i am mean and snippy to him.. maybe we're better as close friends...

...........ill never stop loving him.

i want to curl up and hide under a rock rite now

bribabe32 @ 2005-10-27T20:02:00

2005-10-28T00:05:01Z

Just remembered how i made a fool of myself in 8th grade.. and had to deal with it for like years..

In science class, my uncle Garry told me to ask my teacher that if earth is covered with 75% water, then why isnt it called Water??

SO i did..

"mr rentz, my friend wants to know if earth is covered by 75% water, then why is earth called earth n not called water? "

took forever for people to forget that one!

Im a blonde

If you remember that .. LET ME KNOW! lol ..

bribabe32 @ 2005-10-27T07:12:00

2005-10-27T11:13:15Z

Who wants a 16 week old Chocolate lab??

Free?

bribabe32 @ 2005-10-25T21:46:00

2005-10-26T01:54:46Z

How come noone will talk about it.. its killing me inside.

Its killing me more knowing brooke is falling apart and i can't help her

i dont know what to do.

i want brooke to be better.. she lost her other half and it shows.. i love her so much.. and shes my other half.. and needs to get strong again..

Please God help us all thru this..

Jenny, help us thru this! i love you with my whole heart! and we miss you terribly.
please help brooke... please

im sorry i have to get it out.. noone asks me and its eating me.... we want our lil sister back..

<--theres something i shouldnt say bc noone talks about it.. but i cant hold it in ...

And livejournal.. u are a reliever.. thank you!

my humps!

2005-10-26T00:51:40Z

"My Humps"

What you gon’ do with all that junk?
All that junk inside your trunk?
I’ma get, get, get, get, you drunk,
Get you love drunk off my hump.
My hump, my hump, my hump, my hump, my hump,
My hump, my hump, my hump, my lovely little lumps. (Check it out)

I drive these brothers crazy,
I do it on the daily,
They treat me really nicely,
They buy me all these ice-ys.
Dolce & Gabbana,
Fendi and then Donna
Karan, they be sharin’
All their money got me wearin’
Fly gearrr but I ain’t askin,
They say they love my ass ‘n,
Seven Jeans, True Religion's,
I say no, but they keep givin’
So I keep on takin’
And no I ain’t taken
We can keep on datin’
I keep on demonstrating.

My love, my love, my love, my love
You love my lady lumps,
My hump, my hump, my hump,
My humps they got u,
She’s got me spending.
(Oh) Spendin’ all your money on me and spending time on me.
She’s got me spendin’.
(Oh) Spendin’ all your money on me, on me, on me

What you gon’ do with all that junk?
All that junk inside that trunk?
I’ma get, get, get, get, you drunk,
Get you love drunk off my hump.
What u gon’ do with all that ass?
All that ass inside them jeans?
I’m a make, make, make, make you scream
Make u scream, make you scream.
Cos of my hump, my hump, my hump, my hump.
My hump, my hump, my hump, my lovely lady lumps. (Check it out)

I met a girl down at the disco.
She said hey, hey, hey yea let’s go.
I could be your baby, you can be my honey
Lets spend time not money.
I mix your milk wit my cocoa puff,
Milky, milky cocoa,
Mix your milk with my cocoa puff, milky, milky riiiiiiight.

They say I’m really sexy,
The boys they wanna sex me.
They always standing next to me,
Always dancing next to me,
Tryin’ a feel my hump, hump.
Lookin’ at my lump, lump.
U can look but you can’t touch it,
If u touch it I’ma start some drama,
You don’t want no drama,
No, no drama, no, no, no, no drama
So don’t pull on my hand boy,
You ain’t my man, boy,
I’m just tryn’a dance boy,
And move my hump.

My hump, my hump, my hump, my hump,
My hump, my hump, my hump, my hump, my hump, my hump.
My lovely lady lumps [x3]
In the back and in the front.
My lovin’ got u,
She’s got me spendin’.
(Oh) Spendin’ all your money on me and spending time on me.
She’s got me spendin’.
(Oh) Spendin’ all your money on me, on me, on me.

What you gon’ do with all that junk?
All that junk inside that trunk?
I’ma get, get, get, get you drunk,
Get you love drunk off my hump.
What you gon’ do with all that ass?
All that ass inside them jeans?
I’ma make, make, make, make you scream
Make you scream, make you scream.
What you gon do with all that junk?
All that junk inside that trunk?
I’ma get, get, get, get you drunk,
Get you love drunk off this hump.
What you gon’ do wit all that breast?
All that breast inside that shirt?
I’ma make, make, make, make you work
Make you work, work, make you work.
She’s got me spendin’.
Spendin all your money on me and spendin’ time on me
She’s got me spendin’.
Spendin’ all your money on me, on me, on me.